My Love Lost the Magic

Can anyone remember the first time they witnessed love? At what age do we really understand what a relationship is all a bout? As a kid, I remember learning everything about romance from Disney movies.

To make me stop whining about being bored, my mom would pop in Beauty and the Beast or Aladdin in our VHS player. I was so captivated by the characters, the scenery, and the singing that this plan backfired on her. I eventually figured out how to work the VHS and the one hour movie soon turned into an all day marathon. While my mom was missing all of her primetime shows, I was replaying my favorite love stories to the point I knew all the words.

It may be prehistoric, but the VHS is what I watched most of my early childhood movies on (credit: Wikipedia)

It may be prehistoric, but the VHS is what I watched most of my early childhood movies on (credit: Wikipedia)

Just like in 500 Days of Summer, I really believed everything I saw in those movies. I thought I would meet this dream girl that would soar above the world with me on a magic carpet. Or maybe I would go on a date, and the silverware and kitchen utensils would start singing the most beautiful song as we got lost in each other’s eyes. Unfortunately, I soon realized all that is gold doesn’t glitter and no relationship will ever be like Belle and the beast.

I’ve date a few bad apples in my life that could have put Snow White to sleep for good. I concluded that the one movie that was the most realistic to relationships was Cinderella, only if you look at it through the perspective of Prince Charming’s eyes. At night, you dream of this perfect girl that one day you will find. But every time you close your eyes to sleep, she disappears. You are metaphorically given an invisible, glass slipper that you now have every girl try on until you find your Cinderella. Too bad it’s not a real, glass slipper and you’ll find out it doesn’t fit when it’s too late.

A lot of my friends laugh at me and don’t get my view on love. I’m not sure I would listen to a twenty something year old kid that still believed in Disney romance. Nowadays, most people have given up on the concept of a true relationship and never treat girls like they are princesses. And that is where I think our society is wrong with love. While no relationship will ever be like a Disney movie, we should still believe in the magic of romace.

It may not be a movie, but we can all find the true magic in love ( credit: Wikipedia)

It may not be a movie, but we can all find the true magic in love ( credit: Wikipedia)

I’m not going to hear a bunch of fish telling me to kiss a girl through a song or seven dwarves helping me to be with my one and only. We will experience love in our own way, and it may take a few tries until we find the one that is meant to be. But once we find that person, it doesn’t mean that it’s happily ever after. That’s where the Disney movies were wrong. Love is about standing by our partner through all the good times and bad times. We need to support them when they are at their lowest and always make sure they get back on their feet. Even if we are having an awful day, love is putting a smile on and making sure that person knows that no matter what you still love them as much as the first day. That is the true magic behind love. And when we have that, we will never get tired of the song our hearts play when we are together. It will be a tune sweeter and more magical than anything a clock and a candle could play too.

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Posted in Movie, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 89 Comments

My Doctor Tortured Me

The only place I dread waiting at more than going to the DMV to renew my license has to be the doctor’s office. It’ never bad when I have an apportionment to go see my regular physician. I am talking about when I wake up with a sore throat or fever and I need to go to the urgent care unexpectedly. I don’t have enough time to fit into my real doctor’s schedule and I’m not sick enough to go the hospital, so I am awarded the inhuman torture of waiting to be given a diagnosis that I could have figured out by myself.

I woke up with  a sinus infection that has been bothering me the past couple days. I wasn’t feeling any better, so I decided to get up extra early in order to be the first person taken care of at my local clinic. As I began driving over there, it felt like the clouds were gathering to foreshadow my terrible decision. I just needed to get a prescription for some medicine, not finish my journey of saving middle earth by throwing a ring into a volcano.

How it looked as I finally arrived to the doctors office.(credit: Wikipedia)

How it looked as I finally arrived to the doctors office.(credit: Wikipedia)

I cringed as I opened the door to the urgent care, but was glad to see no one was there. This would be the quickest visit I ever had at a doctor’s office. After filling out some paperwork with the secretary that looks like she is one second away from jumping out of the office window, I looked around to take a seat in the waiting room. I settle back slowly into the worn-out chair in the corner, but keep my hands and arms to myself. The only thing that runs through my head is sick children coughing on the arm rests and sneezing in the magazines. On top of feeling isolated in my designated clean zone, my phone has no service the one time I want to use it to keep me entertained.

It only took about an hour until my name was called from the waiting room. I am pretty sure that people just appeared from thin air and were brought in before me as I woke up from my daze. It felt like I just won the lottery when I heard my name, but the only thing I was awarded was more time being wasted. I got brought into a small room in the corner of the hallway where the nurse spoke a mile a minute checking my blood pressure. After waiting an hour, the nurse slammed the door and vanished faster than she appeared. Was this a doctor’s office or some weird form of speed dating?

I felt more sick and even crazy as the clock ticked slowly. (credit: Wikipedia)

I felt more sick and even crazy as the clock ticked slowly. (credit: Wikipedia)

The clock ticked and ticked and ticked. It seemed like an eternity as I waited in there. I used to think the physician was in his office watching through a camera to see how long he could make us sit there for. I broke and starting touched every instrument to see if I could just diagnose myself. After almost breaking everything, I soon realized the doctor was in the hallway just talking to her co-workers. While I’m in the room dying from a fever and cooking like a barbecue, she is gossiping. I wish I could just barge out of the room and put her in her place, but I knew I was powerless at this point.

I spent a good three hours of my day at the doctor’s office. After all my patient waiting, I didn’t win a vacation to the Bahamas or new car from Bob Barker. I was given a prescription for antibiotics; even though, the doctor said taking over the counter medication could have just done the trick. The best part about the whole visit is when I tell the doctor how I feel, and the physician looks at me crazy telling me I’m wrong. I’m sorry, but maybe I feel worse from waiting in each phase of this game until I reached the last level of finally being seen by you. As I sit in my bed with a burning fever and sore throat, I still feel just as horrible as when I woke up. I hope that everyone has a better experience in the medical field than I have. Even if you eat an apple everyday for your whole life, you are bound to go to find yourself in the doctor’s office one of these days.

Posted in Medicine, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 77 Comments

My Past Stalks Me

No matter how many times we clean out our closet, there are bound to be a few skeletons lurking in the dark. Some memories are easy to conceal and completely forget about, while others continually sting and will probably linger in our minds. In my short twenty plus years, my life feels like a game of Jenga. I built up this tower of experiences, and I try to carefully pull out the ones I don’t want in there. Unfortunately, there are some that won’t budge and made the whole foundation of my life topple over.

What it looks like when I try to forget a bad memory from my past.  (credit: Wikipedia)

What it looks like when I try to forget a bad memory from my past. (credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve read countless quotes talking about moving forward and how life never looks back. I agree we should always stay focused on the present and forget about the past, but this is definitely easier said than done. It isn’t like we are action figures from Toy Story and have a reset button in the back of our head. Some memories just stick to our brains and can be triggered by one word or place.

One of the worst things that can bring the past up has to be a song. Just hearing the first words of an intro can send my mind back in time. It could be a song that was playing in the background of a first kiss or a tune you and your friends blasted out one night. Either way, it’s a melody I erased not only from my iPod but also from my playlist for life.

Some places I don’t even drive near in fear of seeing someone I would rather not run into. Not only will it bring up emotions I have tried drowning from my conscience, but will also just cause an awkward situation. It’s terrible when I absolutely have to run into the grocery store, and it turns out to be a hectic secret agent mission. I rush through all the isles, hide my head as I am checking out, and duck out of there so my presence will go undetected. It’s bad enough that this is plaguing my real life, but these stresses are now starting to haunt my dreams.

How I feel when I run into the grocery store, but probably not as smooth as Bond (credit: Wikipedia)

How I feel when I run into the grocery store, but probably not as smooth as Bond (credit: Wikipedia)

The past few weeks have been some of the worst nights of sleep for me. I can barely close my eyes because I am trapped in a dream world of ex friends and horrible moments. The bubble I built around myself to keep these people out of my life pops the moment I am asleep and all these feelings start flooding my subconscious. I have woken up a few times screaming and losing a full night’s rest. How am I supposed to live in the present when my past is stalking me in my dreams?

I chose to write about this because I started this blog to open up about my life and personal feelings. I am not going to hold anything back. I want to be honest with everything I talk about. While my past is still hiding behind every corner, it doesn’t’ have its teeth sunken into me like it did in the past. Time does heal all, and things always will get better. What seemed like such a huge deal when it happened is now only a memory. And that is all it is. We might never forget something that has really troubled us, but we have the power to put it in our past and not let it hold us back from our present. While my memories may turn every dream I have into a nightmare, it doesn’t bother me because every morning I am going to wake up and remember what I want out of life and try to make it happen.

Posted in Past, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 137 Comments

Holiday Hangover: Memorial Day

For the past two months, all I have been reading on Twitter and Facebook are the countdowns to Memorial Day Weekend. Typically abbreviated to MDW, this extended weekend is one of the most anticipated holidays on the east coast. It marks the end of the spring semester and cold weather, while kicking off the summer season on a high note. Even though millions of people are rushing to the beaches for a weekend of wild drinking and barbecues, it is sad to think most of them don’t even know why we celebrate Memorial Day.

The sight many people will be seeing this Memorial Day Weekend (credit: Wikipedia)

The sight many people will be seeing this Memorial Day Weekend (credit: Wikipedia)

If it wasn’t for the troops that sacrificed their lives to protect our freedom, we wouldn’t even be able to be a part of all the festivities we take for granted. Before I continue writing, I want to take the time out to thank any man or woman who has given their life serving our country. It is an honor to know there are so many brave people out there in this world. Unfortunately, most of the answers for why we celebrate this day from the people shoving their faces with food and becoming blackout drunk would probably be disappointing.

I feel like most holidays have really lost their meaning since I grew up. It is great that we get to share time with our loved ones and relax on special occasions from our busy lives, but we should also be thankful and remember why we are given this privilege. It could be a holiday to remember our soldiers or a religious holiday, but it turned from something meaningful into a day for only receiving presents and not having to work.

Remembering our fallen heroes that served our country. (credit: Wikipedia)

Remembering our fallen heroes that served our country. (credit: Wikipedia)

I hope that this Memorial Day, we remember all our fallen heroes that risked their lives in the line of duty. If you see a veteran or person in uniform, you should take a few seconds our of your time to thank them. The smallest gesture could really brighten up their day. But remember this, these soldiers are still fighting for our freedom even on holidays and special occasions. Just like these real life warriors, we should remember our goals and purpose. This is a holiday and gives us the opportunity to have some relaxation to ourselves, but that doesn’t mean our dreams have a day off. I took took time out of my day to pay my respects, but I am still going to work hard and go after my goals. Our fallen should always be honored every day, but I think they would be even more proud of us if we take advantage of the freedom they died fighting for and used it to better ourselves. Happy Memorial Day and I hope everyone has a great weekend.

How will you be spending your Memorial Day?

Posted in Holiday, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 40 Comments

Gym Class Nightmare

Some of my least favorite moments going to elementary school are from gym glass. I didn’t mind escaping from the classroom and getting the blood pumping. The part I dreaded the most was getting picked for teams. Standing against the wall felt more like being chosen to see who will survive a zombie apocalypse than playing a game of dodgeball. I could handle waiting to be picked, but I hated being the captain that had to choose my team.

The real nerves kicked in way before the game when teams were being picked (credit: Wikipedia)

The real nerves kicked in way before the game when teams were being picked (credit: Wikipedia)

No matter what you do as the team leader, you will make a mistake. I always tried picking my friends first but I always considered everyone else’s feelings. I would hate to leave someone standing there and feeling like they weren’t wanted. One particular gym class,  the two people left standing on that lonely wall were a couple of my close friends. No matter who I chose, I knew that the relationship with one of them would never be the same. And while I tried to show that I cared about both of them, my assumption was right. I hurt one of my friends that day and I learned what it meant to let someone down.

As I got older, decisions became tougher with more consequences. It wasn’t gym class anymore, it was real life. I was now faced with choosing who I would pick up in my car, the friends that could come over to hang out, and even what people I would share my feelings and opinions with. I always tried to consider everyone in my choices, but there were problems no matter what. One nasty phone call from a friend about not inviting him to a party that I had no control over really scarred me to avoid confrontations.

Before you login, you already know it will be an hour of boredom and seeing people you don't want to. (credit: CrunchBase)

Before you login, you already know it will be an hour of boredom and seeing people you don’t want to. (credit: CrunchBase)

After trying to do what I thought was best for everyone, I know find myself at the other end of the stick. My high school days are long past me, but the drama has seemed to carry over into the present. I try to reach out to my friends, and I rarely even get an answer back let alone them picking up when I am calling. I see pictures on Facebook with them all hanging out and having a good time, and I am left with an empty feeling wondering why I wasn’t invited. The fear of not being picked in gym class that I never worried about growing up has now become a reality.

I spent a few years really battling with these emotions and questions. Why was I the one left out? Is there something I did wrong? But I think the real issue was I never stood up for myself. I just tried to be accommodating to everyone else and this let me be a door mat for my friends. I didn’t get to do all the things I really wanted to because I was so afraid to let one of them down. Now they are the ones having fun together, and I am the one left at the door with all their tread marks and dirt.

In life, we need to realize that we should come first and make sure we are happy. I am not saying it isn’t important to care about others. Even after all that happened with my friend, I still wish them the best and would help them out if they needed it. But in the end, the only person we have to rely on in this life is ourselves. As we meet new people and go after goals, we are going to crack a few eggs along the way. Would you rather have a clean omelette or be stuck with egg shells in your dish?

(credit: Wikipedia)

(credit: Wikipedia)

Posted in Gym, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 38 Comments

Are We There Yet?

I give a lot of credit to parents that have to deal with a car full of whining children on a tiring car ride. They are not only obligated to entertain, constantly feed, and even pull over to the nearest  rest stop a handful of times for their needy passengers; but they are bombard every half an hour with the famous phrase “Are we there yet?”. While the kids and probably fed up adults are ready to hit that red button and jump to warp speed, the journey shouldn’t be about just reaching the finishing line.

One of my favorite things to do is to drive. It could be a five minute trip to 7-11 or a twelve hour ride across the country, I am more than excited to get in my car and start going. This love for being on the road started when I was little. My parents would drive me all over the state to go to wrestling practices and tournaments. I loved seeing new towns and all the cool scenery on the way there. It might have been more enjoyable than actually wrestling.

You never know what you will see on your road of life (credit: Wikipedia)

You never know what you will see on your road of life (credit: Wikipedia)

My secret hobby soon turned into full blown relationship when I got my license. While my friends were afraid to even merge onto the highway, I was driving all over to see every part of the state. I loved seeing how one area was very urban with huge buildings and people all over the streets to a place thirty minutes away that was all open space with a few pastures and farms. I wasn’t concerned about where I was going to end up, I just wanted to experience as much as I could as I drove along.

This love for scenic driving hasn’t diminished at all since I was legally allowed to get behind the wheel . While most people hate riding from place to place, I jump up at the opportunity to hit the open road. This mindset is exactly how I feel about life.

We all have goals we want to achieve and places we want to see, but that isn’t what the main focus of our journey is about. It should be taking in every moment along the way. We are bound to hit a few bumps and approach some detours, but we should  come away with a valuable lesson from that experience. When we find ourselves at a dead end or come to an intersection in the middle of nowhere, it will be a hard choice but something we will always remember. I think Rascal Flatts summed it up perfectly. Life is an open highway that has no set route. While we may have no direction of where we are heading and even get off at a few exits that spark our interest, just remember you will always end up where you need to be.

Posted in Journey, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 49 Comments

The Greatest Pick Up Line Ever

The funniest thing to watch is a person awkwardly try to hit on a girl. In their head, they

Fonzie didn't even need pick up lines because he was so smooth. (credit: Wikipedia)

Fonzie didn’t even need pick up lines because he was so smooth. (credit: Wikipedia)

think they are like Fonzie from Happy Days with the cool, leather jacket and suave moves. This guy will puff their chest out and concentrate as hard as they can to try and impress this complete stranger. If it goes well, they will run off to their friends giggling like they were a teenager that got an autograph from a celebrity. What cracks me up the most is that it never plays out in reality how it did in their head.

Most times, this person will go up to the girl very anxious and nervous. Two things run through the girl’s head at this point. One is that he is crazy and the other is he might mug her. Once the boy starts mumbling because he can’t get the right words out of his mouth, she will most likely think he is just nuts. Unfortunately, the person being hit on is put in an awkward position now. She can’t just run away from this kid while he is talking like he has marbles in his mouth. If he really is crazy, he might actually go after the poor girl. Now, she is stuck with the dilemma of humoring him and pretending to be interested.  If he’s lucky, the guy might end up with a number but it won’t lead anywhere. How can you expect to start a relationship after an unnecessary, awkward encounter?

I have seen plenty of strangers and even friends hit on random women like that. And every time, I just see anxiety all over the girl’s face. If I was an attractive female, I wouldn’t want a guy to hover over me like a piece of meat if I was shopping for tooth brushes at Walmart. While some people live and die by picking up girls with books even based around it, I feel it’s very fake and immature.

I look at relationships like friendships. The best way to start off meeting someone is to just be honest. Why are you going to pretend you are someone you aren’t? You are pretty much already starting the relationship off on a lie and nothing good will come from that. You’ll be more happier attracting people that actually enjoy you for who you are than people who are superficially into you.

The best relationships are always the ones that start out as friendships. When I met my girlfriend for the first time, we started off only as friends. Every time we were together, we were able to talk and really connect. It wasn’t awkward because neither of us was trying to force unwanted expectations on the other. Eventually, we became so close that we realized we cared about each other more than just friends. It’s the best feeling to know that my girlfriend is not only someone I care about but my best friend I can talk to about anything. I might not have used any moves I learned from Fonzie, but I was glad to find a true relationship by being myself.

Posted in Pick Up Lines, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 56 Comments