Who Am I?

This week has been a pretty rough one to say the least. It feels like I take on giant step forward on my journey ,only to be dragged by four more steps. I can see the light, and for a brief period of time I have absolute clarity. Then, I am sucked into a tornado of all these Β thoughts and doubts. I just want to scream at the top my lungs and break free from theses shackles holding me into the ground, but their grip is too tight and no one can hear me.

After high school, it has really been a period of finding out who I am. I read an article this week, and it really resonated with me. If we look back two years from where we are now, we probably won’t even recognize the person we were. Most of us think we would have made a transition forward to bigger and better things, but I look back at someone I want to be.

I was a kid with so much hope and opportunity growing up. I could have become anything I wanted to. I took things for granted and never was serious about opportunities. I wish I could combine my knowledge and determination with my former self’s hope and confidence.

So feeling drained and exhausted, I will just leave my reader’s with this post for the day. The one thing that has given me inspiration in the last twenty-four hours is Oprah’s commencement speech at Harvard. Even with all her success, she still can hit rock bottom in her career. And one message that carried her through rough times was “This Shall Pass To”. I have been battling these demons for a good four years now, but it shall pass too. And anything you feel is overwhelming and just too much to deal with, remember it will pass as well and there will be light at the end of this tunnel.

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63 Responses to Who Am I?

  1. Stay strong. You’re not alone.

    • Thank you for your support. Everyday I am still trying to figure myself out, and some days are rougher than others. I think I just need to remember all things and problems shall pass too.

  2. Self-discovering are the way. We can learn all the life, if we are open-minded. Thanks for sharing.

  3. It sounds like a cliche, but it’s true. Life is a process. That light in the tunnel may be an oncoming train, so don’t count on it too much. But whether it’s a train or light coming from the other side, it’s proof that you can pull through. (The train had to come from somewhere, right?) Like the song says, “When you’re going through hell, keep on going…” because as you said yourself, ‘this too shall pass.’ Hang in there.

  4. This is something I myself have struggled with for some time now. From trying and failing to recover from the eating disorder that took my hearing, to having to move back in with my parents and now being unemployed on top of it all, sometimes it’s a herculean effort to keep your head above the water and even when we dip beneath the waves, we have to remember that to not resurface, is to be defeated. For as long as you keep fighting, you will come out on top of those waves. There’s a favorite quote from a movie that I’m quite fond of and I think about it when I start to dip beneath the surface, myself. “At a certain part in your life. Probably when too much of it has gone by. You will open your eyes and see yourself for who you are. Especially for everything that made you so different from all the awful normals. And you will say to yourself, “But I am this person.” And in that statement, that correction, there will be a kind of love.”

  5. mattaspden28 says:

    Am with you Buddy. Keep smiling as often as you can. πŸ™‚

  6. Thanks for sharing. Having similar feelings as well w/ the self discovery process.

    Wishing you all the best,

  7. Mocha says:

    I feel you brother. I feel you

  8. It sounds like you don’t so much want to be the you of 2 years ago, but to take the positives of that you and combine it to improve the current you. I call that normal. Most people have a period where they look back and think they were better off in the past. You’re really not alone and what you’re going through is part of life. Oprah is right. It passes and you keep pushing forward.

    • Thanks Charles, I really appreciate you reading and all the support. I always look at others and just feel weird that I think this way. I just need to keep pushing forward and looking toward the future.

  9. We all struggle, all you can do is stay strong and keep moving forward.

  10. j226 says:

    Great post …… but if you think about ,2 years ago were you blogging and possibly inspiring people? Your blog is very insightful but I’ve been in the same place as you …… I’ve been in the darkest places and was able to pick myself up, dust the dirt off my pants and moved forward.
    Everything will be alright……keep blogging!!

    • I think writing my feeling and connecting with people is one the of the most important things that is keeping me going. I hope everyone that reads and comments and likes knows that it means the world to me and it is a force that continues to push me. I’nm glad to hear you overcame your struggles and I hope to follow in that path.

  11. Villiorvokki says:

    Growth is painful. But tomorrow is a new day, and one day you’ll be laughing at the struggles you’re facing now. I’m going through exactly similar thing, having to really focus on the positives each moment on some days, but we’ll get there. And that’s what keeps us going, that knowledge that this will pass, and better times are ahead.

    • I’m happy to hear I’m not in this alone. Even in the darkest place, I still hear that voice in my head that says keep pushing. I am just going to bounce back up and try moving forward. Thanks for the inspirational comment.

  12. It does get better and you are courageous to be open and honest! Love your writing.

  13. Patinspire says:

    The tough times are the ideal opportunities for us to get tougher in our resolve to keep reaching for the positives and limit the influence of the negatives. Hurt dissappointment and pain will make you stronger and more determined to turn things around because no one should have the ablility to steer your life in any direction but you. Grab a hold of your positives and never let them go πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  14. KG Visions says:

    Yes, it will pass, but the demons always raise their heads. You can send them away, my way was getting a tattoo with a dragon coming through the flowers to remind me.

  15. DareToASK says:

    Thank you for sharing. I felt so alone today, like I was the only one struggling with who I am and what is happening in my life right now. Reading your post showed me that there are people out there who struggle with similar situations and problems.
    Being reminded that life is a process and that troublesome situations are going to pass helped me to broaden my view. If it is two years from now and I am looking back what will I see and think? Looking back what would I want myself to do right now?
    I am looking forward to hearing from your experiences with this process. They are really helpful for all the people going through similar situations right now. So thank you very much for sharing. And if there is anything I might be able to help you with, feel free to ask.

    • Thank you for the support and I really appreciate the thoughtful comment. I feel alone a lot as well and find it hard to deal with my struggles. But I think I just need to be reminded that I am not the only one in this boat and that we can overcome anything if we persevere. I’m so happy you read and commented πŸ™‚

  16. createdbyrcw says:

    This is a lovely sentiment in which I truly believe.

    Had to laugh at the typo in the Oprah version you listed “This shall pass to”, as it sounds like her plan is to fob off her troubles onto some unsuspecting schmuck. πŸ˜€

    Keep smiling and keep moving forward…Randy

  17. Swept.Out.To.Sea says:

    Just remember life is a battle and if you aren’t fighting you aren’t living. Hang tough and every obstacle is just a road bump in the learning experience of life. πŸ™‚

  18. Heather says:

    take the good from the past and be who you are now…regardless of where you are in life there will always be trials and tribulations, it is how you choose to deal with them that makes the difference…I try to find the lesson in everything that happens…

  19. You don’t have to figure everything out. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and you’ll get somewhere great. I hear you. I understand. I’ve been where you are right this minute. It doesn’t help to hear that it gets better. Not when you’re in it. But, keep your head up and know that it will.

  20. MegsFitness says:

    “This, too, shall pass” has made me hopeful in times of woe and thankful in times of plenty. It’s a great phrase to keep close to your heart.

  21. foolsquest says:

    I’ve been down that road on occasion. Even stopped off at the motel on the side for a short while. You are right, however. This too shall pass. It’s become a mantra of mine for years now. Just remember as long as you’re alive, it’s never too late.

    Safe journey on the road, Joe.

  22. legendarykate says:

    Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I have been there as well. Somedays I just feel completely lost. I feel that sometimes we have to just look at what I have, even if it’s a heart that cares for others. That still counts. It’s something to cherish. We all should try thinking positive, no matter what storms/demons come our way discouraging us. We have to be strong. They can’t win if we at least try. We can’t let them defeat us. It’s never too late to think of positive things in life and things can be worse. I always look at it that way. πŸ™‚ Stay strong my friend, it’s a slow journey to defeat, but the time goes fast with positivity. Hang in there.

    Best wishes,

  23. I hold that thought too when I face the rough moment in my life. It shall pass. Everything will pass sooner or later. And I know it’s true because from my experience, it did pass.

  24. Discovering who we are is a rocky journey, but you’ve got this!
    On another note, I have nominated you for the Super Sweet Blogger Award. Check out my post http://followyourheartandlifewillfollow.wordpress.com/ Happy Blogging!

  25. I truly empathize with you. The last week or so has been a roller coaster of emotions. Hang in there.

  26. I meant sympathize…one of those days today. πŸ™‚

  27. jannatwrites says:

    “I wish I could combine my knowledge and determination with my former self’s hope and confidence.” – This line hit me…so true. Hope and confidence go a long way in keeping our spirits up, but seem to fade as we don’t get where we want to be.

    While I haven’t achieved all I’d hoped to by this age, I focus on what I have done, and the good things in my life. When I think of the dreams I haven’t realized, it is discouraging. The problem is that when we are discouraged, we aren’t doing anything to move forward. You are right – there are dark days, but then there will be light. Hope you find your light soon πŸ™‚

  28. Kat says:

    You took the words right out of my mouth, said the same thing yesterday….a step forward and two or three steps back. Everyday u wake up and wonder which direction am I going today? Can relate…

  29. lucylingphotography says:

    Love your honesty it’s refreshing look forward to reading more x

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