The Kiss of Death

He opens the door for you as you you casually get out of the car with a smile stretching from ear to ear. You anxiously walk to the front of your house as romantic glances and smirks are exchanged. The warm, night air wraps the two of you together as a fantastic time of small talk, laughs, and feelings comes to an end. The jingling from getting the keys out of your purse is the last sound you hear before everything goes silent. You look into your dates’ eyes, and the moment has finally come.

As he places his hand smoothly on the small of your back, you close your eyes and your lips softly touch. You break away from the kiss, and suddenly that cloud you were floating on pops and you are grounded back on earth. The attraction that has been building up throughout the date has now been shut down quicker than it was sparked. You finish with an awkward goodbye, but there is no chance of redemption after a bad, first kiss.

The first kiss could spark romance or end like a Zombie horror flick. (credit: Wikipedia)

The first kiss could spark romance or end like a Zombie horror flick. (credit: Wikipedia)

A perfect date with instant chemistry can be destroyed in the matter of seconds by a horrible kiss. I have seen in it magazines, books, movies and even from friends that they will not see a person again if they don’t feel the spark with that first, warm embrace. Why is the fate of a relationship sealed in the tiniest interaction of a date?

Even though we see ourselves as the most evolved species on the planet, our true animal instincts lie in the core of our human interactions. We may like to think that we are not shallow, but the first reason why we become interested in someone is based on physical attraction. When we meet someone for the first time, we see them before anything else happens. Our eyes process them so quickly that we already decide if this person is attractive before they even talk. This animal instinct may be the reason why our first true physical interaction Β such as a kiss can make or break our feelings toward someone.

If this is the case, then why is it that I can’t remember my first kiss. I have a really good memory too, but I can’t recall the first girl I locked lips with. I can’t remember if it was bad or good or just awkward. Now that I think about it, I can barely remember half of the first kisses I’ve had with other girls. Does this mean I’m the missing link or lost a gene from the evolution pool?

I do think physical attraction and interaction with a partner is really important. It plays a big role in our relationships. But the things I remember most don’t revolve around only the first kiss, it’s more about the first time we shared our feelings together. It’s how I learn something new about you and it makes me fall in love with you even more. The moment when we experienced something for the first time together and we became even closer. In the end, we will all remember our first kiss and how beautiful that other person Β was in that moment. But what will last the test of Β time isn’t physical interaction or beauty, it will be the ability to share our feelings and always being able to open up to each other.

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36 Responses to The Kiss of Death

  1. As always, captivating, open, and insightful.

  2. πŸ™‚ You’re writing style and thoughts never cease to remain as ever, insightful and lovely.

  3. That instinct is all about reproduction. We can see that in male species of animals. Peacocks, lions, beetles, birds….they are brightly colored or they fight to establish dominance.

    The first kiss on the other hand, is something different. I don’t remember my first kiss but I do remember the first kiss when I fell in love for the first time. I will carry that memory to the grave.

    • I think that is one of the memories we will never forget ever and cherish for the rest of our lives. It is much more than just a kiss, but the beginning of something beautiful. Thanks for reading and commenting πŸ™‚

  4. darcidiggs says:

    Ha, this made me chuckle. πŸ™‚ I remember my first kiss – 6th grade, theatre of Romeo and Juliet (you know, the remake with Claire Danes and Leonardo Decaprio). What a perfect environment for a first kiss (perfectly cliche, I mean). Yeah… it was terrible.
    Hope your Saturday’s goin’ good, my friend!

    • Reading this comment made me smile. I love when people share their experiences with the posts I write. That is definitely a great scene for a kiss I am sure most people wouldn’t forget. Thanks for reading and commenting πŸ™‚

  5. I remember my first kiss only because she accidentally drew blood. Neither of us were experienced and she forgot about her teeth. I still tease her about it to this day.

  6. barbaramarincel says:

    My first kiss with the man who became my husband was hurried, nervous, and awkward. Suffice it to say it got much better!

  7. nuttyblurt says:

    Your posts are always so refreshing and full of substance. It feels like I am chatting to a friend when I read them. I admire your honesty with this piece.
    Thanks for sharing your words of ‘kiss-dom’ πŸ˜‰

  8. I totally agree about the feelings and how you can stick with that memory.. but for some reason what is stuck in my head for all my past relationships is my first kiss.. Why? No idea… Maybe I’m a weirdo lol.

    I recently discovered your blog.. and I think I’ll stick around πŸ™‚

  9. tric says:

    My first kiss was at too young an age and I hated it. My first kiss with my now husband was much anticipated. We met on holidays abroad and I really fancied him. Then the kiss happened. Sadly i had not been feeling well and immediately had to run as I felt sick! Things did get a lot better after that though.

    • I laughed when I read this post. I’m happy a first kiss didn’t ruin a great relationship. Thanks for commenting and reading.

      • tric says:

        You know the way sometimes you are just surfing through posts and you just have to share. Well this was one of them, a great post. Really enjoyed it.

  10. tersiaburger says:

    I had my first kiss behind the garage playing “hide and seek”. I was 14 years old and moved my head the way filmstars do in the movies. The boy told me to keep my head still. I was so embarrassed! I never spoke to him again and it took a long time to build up the courage to kiss another boy, which happened to be my 1st husband!

  11. Oh, I’m really sorry you don’t remember that first “magical” moment. I do, and it wasn’t awkward or disgusting. In fact, it was so beautiful that i remembered it and it held me through many a really bad stretch in the jungle and through a major head injury (38 skull fracs) when I lost most of the other memories…that’s how perfect it was! πŸ™‚ (Even now, I’m smiling at the memory.)

    • That’s amazing that you still remember and I am sorry to hear about your injury. For some people it is a magical moment and for me I guess other moments stand out more. Glad you stopped by and hope you come back to refill your Cup of Joe.

  12. bploppy says:

    great post. Thanks for the sweet memory of “1sts” I remember the build up and curiosity of the first kiss with my hubs…been Heaven ever since. Never disappoints.

    • πŸ™‚ A first kiss that started a lifetime full of them. It’s so great to hear you still remember the first kiss. Thanks for sharing and best of luck with everything.

  13. meh says:

    can’t believe this was written by a guy. This gives me hope that there are good guys out there who cares about feelings

    • There are so many good guys out there in the world. Just cause a couple give us a bad name, doesn’t mean the rest are rotten apples as well. You will find that amazing guy in your life, everything always falls into place. Thanks for reading and commenting πŸ™‚

  14. electricbohemian says:

    I totally agree, its really hard sometimes because we want to be ‘good’ people and therefore we feel guilty if we don’t feel attracted to someone. I think we have to see the difference basically in the terms of attractive, I think there are two kinds – There is attractive that everyone had decided on and their is personal attractiveness. I think the wrong kind is too go out there and go with what you think is good looking so then you can show off, or if you wait for the right person who everything clicks with, you have a connection that is how the mind and genes work it looks for the person that will ultimately suit you, who you are, how you are and will create the best children you can. We shouldn’t feel ashamed if we find all the connections don’t work, its just the way it is. I suppose in the sense of kissing you have to give it a go a few times if everything else is perfect just in case! I think what is the most pointless of all is just getting with anyone because you need someone and then wondering why it never works – its really important to know how to be alone and be happy and to know how to be a relationship and be happy. Anyway, thanks for the piece you where right to put it up!

  15. m3lissa18 says:

    Reading this made me think of my first kiss.. It was soooo awkward because I had never kissed a boy before and the guy I kissed… well… let’s just say he was experienced. Anyway, that first kiss lead me to like him for four straight years… it was a rough time liking a guy that could never like me back. HA! Good times!
    Nice post though, very thoughtful, very true!

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