My Love Lost the Magic

Can anyone remember the first time they witnessed love? At what age do we really understand what a relationship is all a bout? As a kid, I remember learning everything about romance from Disney movies.

To make me stop whining about being bored, my mom would pop in Beauty and the Beast or AladdinΒ in our VHS player. I was so captivated by the characters, the scenery, and the singing that this plan backfired on her. I eventually figured out how to work the VHS and the one hour movie soon turned into an all day marathon. While my mom was missing all of her primetime shows, I was replaying my favorite love stories to the point I knew all the words.

It may be prehistoric, but the VHS is what I watched most of my early childhood movies on (credit: Wikipedia)

It may be prehistoric, but the VHS is what I watched most of my early childhood movies on (credit: Wikipedia)

Just like inΒ 500 Days of Summer, I really believed everything I saw in those movies. I thought I would meet this dream girl that would soar above the world with me on a magic carpet. Or maybe I would go on a date, and the silverware and kitchen utensils would start singing the most beautiful song as we got lost in each other’s eyes. Unfortunately, I soon realized all that is gold doesn’t glitter and no relationship will ever be like Belle and the beast.

I’ve date a few bad apples in my life that could have put Snow White to sleep for good. I concluded that the one movie that was the most realistic to relationships was Cinderella, only if you look at it through the perspective of Prince Charming’s eyes. At night, you dream of this perfect girl that one day you will find. But every time you close your eyes to sleep, she disappears. You are metaphorically given an invisible, glass slipper that you now have every girl try on until you find your Cinderella. Too bad it’s not a real, glass slipper and you’ll find out it doesn’t fit when it’s too late.

A lot of my friends laugh at me and don’t get my view on love. I’m not sure I would listen to a twenty something year old kid that still believed in Disney romance. Nowadays, most people have given up on the concept of a true relationship and never treat girls like they are princesses. And that is where I think our society is wrong with love. While no relationship will ever be like a Disney movie, we should still believe in the magic of romace.

It may not be a movie, but we can all find the true magic in love ( credit: Wikipedia)

It may not be a movie, but we can all find the true magic in love ( credit: Wikipedia)

I’m not going to hear a bunch of fish telling me to kiss a girl through a song or seven dwarves helping me to be with my one and only. We will experience love in our own way, and it may take a few tries until we find the one that is meant to be. But once we find that person, it doesn’t mean that it’s happily ever after. That’s where the Disney movies were wrong. Love is about standing by our partner through all the good times and bad times. We need to support them when they are at their lowest and always make sure they get back on their feet. Even if we are having an awful day, love is putting a smile on and making sure that person knows that no matter what you still love them as much as the first day. That is the true magic behind love. And when we have that, we will never get tired of the song our hearts play when we are together. It will be a tune sweeter and more magical than anything a clock and a candle could play too.

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89 Responses to My Love Lost the Magic

  1. I think you’re very wise. I believe firmly you will find your one true love. keep the faith. Romance exists, we just have to remember it’s something we create. As ever, beautiful insight!

    • Thank you πŸ™‚ Love is such a complicated thing and hard to understand at times. It is always a work of art that is in progress. I’m glad to have someone right now that I truly care about and treats me amazing.

  2. Love is exactly that, being there through the bad and the good. Loving all the things that really annoy you about that person, loving the things you hate about them. Love is not black and white or even gray it is an array of colours and even though we get burned it is the most precious thing in the world. I am having a hard time at the moment but I still believe in love, in the difficult, frustrating, want to pull your hair out kind of love that makes you realise that you still want to be there. Thank you for this post.

    • I’m glad you enjoyed it so much. Love isn’t going to be a fairytale with a happily ever after. It is going to be something that we always need to work on and keep trying. But at the end of the day, we can still find that magic in love. Thanks for reading and commenting πŸ™‚

  3. You are so very much right. We need to stay together in good and bad times, I’m also happy to have such a kind of relationship,which is not easy to find. Have a nice day.

  4. goddesslyv says:

    I’m glad that Disney not only gives an unrealistic view on men, but also women!!
    I make reference to my “prince charming” But I also teach my children that “happily ever after” does not exist. It takes work and effort. You’re prince (or princess) will be able to put forth just as much effort as you do, and not run away when they realize the Happily Ever After doesn’t come easily.

    • I always love my Disney movies, but it is a far stretch from reality. A relationship takes two people to work at everyday. There will ups and downs, but at the end of the day we can always see the true beauty in love πŸ™‚

  5. ferrindear says:

    Absolutely incredible. You had the same problem I did! Expertly said; just another prime example of your views of life. Great post.

  6. Aary says:

    Wonderful post. I see and think of love in the same way you do, but seeing someone else putting it into words is always a new perspective for me. Hopefully you’ll stop getting the rotten apples and start meeting the princesses!

    Also, random question: how old are you? Do you think your view on love will change for the better or for the worse as the years continue on?

    • I found the perfect apple already that I love and care about. I’m twenty one years old and I think our views on things will always change as we grow. Thanks for reading and commenting πŸ™‚

  7. janicedoty says:

    Ironically I had a similar conversation with a friend and “happily ever after” should NOT exist–if it did life and love would become stagnant and without growth…for those married a long time we know life/love is a wave of loving vs being in love—and all the better for it!

    • That is exactly why life is not a Disney movie. We aren’t character that exist for one hour, we a humans that grow each and every day. That means our relationships grow as well.

  8. silversun008 says:

    I like this and totally agree. Though I have never been romantically involved with anyone yet, I know that love is not anything like movies portray it to be.

    • Everyone has their own journey of love and it will never be the same has anyone else. I don’t think one movie could capture all the feelings and emotions that go into a relationship. Thanks for sharing and commenting πŸ™‚

  9. I love it. πŸ™‚ Beautifully but realistically put. Good job!

  10. Well, you sure seem to have turned the ladies on πŸ˜‰ From a man’s (my) perspective, I think you hit it pretty well on the head in the last paragraph. None of us – man or woman – is perfect in love, and you’re right, it does take dedication and work. I’ve had plenty of girlfriends, been in love a half dozen times, even been married before. In the end, there’s been one (1) woman I was with who has never broken my heart and has always been a true lover and friend. Failure of my first marriage taught me a lot of what I was doing wrong and also showed me what I really (as opposed to what I thought) wanted out of life. My second wife and I have been together for 15 years through ups and downs, and right now I’m in love with her all over again. Hang in there, my friend, and keep believing, romance and real love are alive and well. Sometimes they just take a while to find πŸ™‚

    • Thanks for commenting and I’m happy to read that you still find the magic in your love everyday. I am very happy with my girlfriend who I adore and treats me amazingly. A lot of people get crushed when their perfect image of love is crushed. It isn’t like a movie, and real relationships take time and hard work to remain strong. I’m glad you enjoyed and hope you come back to refill your Cup of Joe πŸ™‚

  11. john howell says:

    Love is not to imitate but to live. True love will smack you in the face and you won’t even know what hit you. The big question is “How happy would I be if this person was not in my life?” Your happiness with your girlfriend could well be it. (sorry to sound like an old codger here but I am)

    • The relationship I am in now came right out of left field and I would have never seen it coming in a hundred years. I am so happy with my girlfriend and I would be devastated if she wasn’t in my life. She not only understands me but supports me with all her heart. She is the reason I still find magic in love. I agree with your comment 100 percent that true love will hit us when we least expect it. Thanks for reading and commenting πŸ™‚

  12. 19enitsirk92 says:

    Totally agreed with this, once we find that person, “it doesn’t meant it’s happily ever after” it takes two people to work, i once though that i really found that one before and work hard on it but as you said it takes two to make the relationship works hahha anyway i love it!!

  13. MegsFitness says:

    Awe, I love your take on love. I love love in general and I’ve had my fair share of knocks, too. It might be because I’m speaking as a newlywed, but I truly feel like I found my Prince Charming. Take, for example, last night–I was sound asleep when a peel of thunder shook the apartment. My eyes flew open and I muttered ‘Did I close the windows?’ before I was even actually awake. My husband couldn’t say for sure whether we closed them when we got home but he was more than willing to run out in the rain to check. So, in the dead of night with a storm rolling in, he went down 3 flights of stairs to make sure that my car wouldn’t get soaked in a downpour. And he never once complained. In fact, he gave me a big hug when he got back and let me know that a window was indeed down but that it’s up now and it didn’t actually start to downpour until he was back inside. My hero!

  14. Carol Ann Larade says:

    You wrote this at a really great time. I just came out of a relationship over the weekend and am feeling a little jaded. This helped me feel like not all guys are douchebags.Thanks. πŸ™‚

    • I’m happy I could help you out πŸ™‚ There are some guys that give good people a bad name. Trust me, there a lot more nice guys than there are ones who hit on girls and don’t care. I’m glad you enjoyed so much and thanks for commenting.

  15. TomBoy says:

    Yes, sadly we are now all on Blu-Ray. That tape gave me great pause though, and you have been posting wonderful pictures as of late.

    • Thanks πŸ™‚ I like to add some pictures that stand out and compliment the reading. Seeing that VHS game me a blast from the past though. I haven’t seen one of those in ages, I think they are all extinct now.

  16. Doraz says:

    Relationships require commitment. That, to me is most important. I have been married 28 years. πŸ™‚ All things can be worked on with commitment. πŸ™‚

  17. casinokoala says:

    I’m glad I stopped by. This is beautiful. I hope you’re right πŸ™‚

  18. Pingback: My Love Lost the Magic | casinokoala

  19. This is wonderful! I love your writing style. Such an interesting concept and I totally agree with your opinion. Life should be a fairytale! πŸ™‚

  20. We are the ones who will write our own fairy tales when it comes to love. Keep writing and thank you for this post. πŸ™‚

  21. Jacqueline says:

    Disney-fied love has never been the least bit appealing to me … But 500 Days of Summer? Now you’re talking! πŸ™‚

    • 500 Days of Sumer is the most realistic film to ever show all the emotions in a relationship. It is a must see movie if anyone has never enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and commenting πŸ™‚

  22. nrhatch says:

    If you treat “her” like a princess . . . she’s apt to see you as a “prince” or a “knight in shining armor” or both.

    BFF and I have been together for 33 years and married for 29. Most of the time, we’re living “happily every after” (on a moment by moment basis). πŸ˜€

    • That’s so great to hear and I’m very happy for you. While real life may not be like a Disney flick, every girl should be treated like she is royalty. Thanks for reading and hope you come back to refill your Cup of Joe πŸ™‚

  23. AlwinOnline says:

    Very well said, that last paragraph explains it perfectly how it is. You’re very wise for your age, it has taken me many years to finally figure it out.

    • I think we all learn differently through our journeys. I may not have had as much experience, but I have had some intense bumps on my path with life to knock a lot of sense into me. I’m glad you enjoyed it so much and thanks for commenting πŸ™‚

  24. Sachi says:

    Beautifully written πŸ™‚

  25. anonymouse85 says:

    It’s lovely to still see people, by that I mean yourself and the comments you’ve inspired who still believe in love and romance. I grew up with Disney but don’t believe that perfection comes without imperfections which are the test to anything. And I believe we all have to go through a few relationships to work out what we want in a person until we find someone who is compatible with us. Your posts very relatable to all those of us who find trouble with a lack of something we know is real but can’t find easily in this day. Thank you for a great post, it was lovely to have read πŸ™‚

    • Thank you and I really appreciate the kind words πŸ™‚ I love to write, but I enjoy connecting with people more and making a difference. Life is never going to be perfect, but we can all find the magic in moments. We just know to be proud of who we are and always keep moving forward. If we believe and try our hardest, everything will fall into place. Thank you for reading and commenting.

  26. kumufatz says:

    This post made me smile. My parents are prime examples of how a love should be. Through all of their hardships and trials and tribulations in life they are still standing by each other as strong as when they first met, actually stronger than the first time they met. Growing up I never seen them fight, I did witness one argument that led my mom to stay at my great grandmas a couple of days but my brother, sister, and I never witnessed the actual argument. I admired my parents for that and I still admire them to this day.

    Other relationships I have witnessed in my life are the ones that make a baby and then claim them fall out of love but still like your money or still like call you when you feeling horny. Some relationships I see are based solely on looks and sex appeal. It kind of makes me sick to see and witness these types of relationships. So sick that I bury myself so deep into my work that I have no time to entertain any type of relationship with anyone. I know that there is a love out there for me and I may or may not find it, but I am sure that when I find it I want it to be based on true love, magic and all with no false pretenses or any other crap!

    • I think we will all find that true love that compliments our happiness in life. It may take awhile, but we will find that someone who truly cares about us and brings out the best. I am so happy to hear about your parents and how strong they are. It is a great example of how relationships are never perfect, but hard work and commitment can make people stronger and closer. I’m really glad you enjoyed and thank you for commenting πŸ™‚

  27. Heather says:

    Well said…being a romantic is a good thing…the right woman will cherish that sentiment in you!

    • I think I am a helpless romantic trapped in the body of a realist. I’m not embarrassed to say that I can always find myself watching a Romance movie and being more caught up in it than my girlfriend πŸ™‚

  28. N says:

    Reblogged this on Being Pristiq and commented:
    I absolutely love this! The Prince Charming reference is so true.

  29. lucylingphotography says:

    Sigh…..if only all men were like this! Good luck on your quest for true love brave knight!

  30. D.L. Kamstra says:

    It’s always important to realize that there is a difference between “falling in love” and loving a person. A strong relationship will have moments where one or both will “fall in love,” but more importantly it is made up both individuals making the decision to love each other. Love at it’s root is an action. I wonder if in our society we have diminished the value of this particular emotion. After all we “love” a movie or “love” tacos. Perhaps this is another area where Disney has it wrong on occasion, but also has it right. Beauty and the Beast is full of these choices of demonstrating love for another person (Beast letting Belle go to her father comes to mind).

    • That is a great point. We all can fall in love but loving a person takes commitment and hard work. It won’t be perfect but we can find the magic in romance by really caring for another person. Thanks for reading and the thought-provoking comment πŸ™‚

  31. Chani135 says:

    I held the same view on love. Even when I got married!! My husband really does treat me like a princess (in reality terms of course). I think a man that holds their women up on a pedestal a far and few between. And it’s a beautiful thing. Life happens though, and it’s a matter of being able to realize that not every day will be magical. It will be a blessing though. Being with someone, growing with someone, loving that someone through all of life’s obstacles is magical in itself. Definitely not easy all the time. But definitely worth it. Thanks for the awesome post!!

    • I think you definitely found the magic behind love in your relationship. It is great to see you found such a great husband that treats you this way. All girls should be treated like this. Thanks for sharing and I’m glad you enjoyed your Cup of Joe πŸ™‚

      • Chani135 says:

        Thank you! It actually it took me quite some time to figure out exactly what i had. Unfortunately. Sometimes you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone, you know? We had our moment where he was almost gone…..and I am forever grateful that some sense and clarity came to my heart and mind. Are you still in search of your princess?

      • No, I found the perfect girl that makes me still see the magic in love everyday. Love is always a work of art that takes time and patience. Thanks for sharing and commenting πŸ™‚

  32. ferrindear says:

    Reblogged this on Inside Ferrin's Mind and commented:
    This guy is a pretty incredible blogger. I SERIOUSLY recommend checking out his page.

  33. Kevin Daniel says:

    “The Litte Mermaid” was my first introduction to “love.” I too have since changed my perspective. Great post!

    • Never really watched “The Little Mermaid”, but I still am a hopeless romantic at heart. I think I’m just trapped in the body of a realist. I still will find myself watching a Disney movie every now and then to see the magic happen on the big screen. Thanks for reading and commenting πŸ™‚

  34. legendarykate says:

    This is really a wonderful post! I really like the comparison with Disney movies. It’s so true! I’m glad I found this blog. Keep up the wonderful, inspiring posts! Best of luck!! πŸ™‚

  35. HI! Hope your are having an awesome Friday. The sun finally came out here so I’m a happy girl. Wow this reminds we of a TED talk I watched the other day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueOqYebVhtc

    Love, is really crazy, It is chemical for sure. True love comes from being enlightened, (Corny but true). A lot of women are still girls and a lot of men are just going through the motions. Depending on your age group of course.

    We need great mentors and good examples to help us come together in a more meaningful way.

    Love the post, glad to be following.

    πŸ™‚ See you around.

    DIVA COACH Jen.

    • I’m glad you enjoyed and thanks for sharing the video. I never heard of TED but it seems to be a really big movement. I will have to stay on board with that. Love is a two way street and the only way a relationship can blossom is if the two people really commit and put in the effort. That will make the true magic of love appear. Happy you stopped by and I hope you come back to refill your Cup of Joe πŸ™‚

  36. This made me remember my high school days when I thought that I was right and the entire world was wrong. I thought I knew what love was– looking back, I cringe. Good thing those days are over! Ha!

    • High school is some of the best times but also the times when we think we figured the whole world out. Unfortunately, that is so far from the actual truth. At least we can look back at those times and just laugh now πŸ™‚

  37. Wonderfully written in such simple words. I love it.

  38. Really like this post! I’m very romantic and often find I’m disappointed by real life romance, I think I’ve read far too many books πŸ˜› but love really is about acceptance and consistency, and not just in our romantic lives but our familes and friends. Really well written, and beauty and the beast is a winner! Good luck with everything πŸ™‚

    • I’m happy another person here is a fan of Beauty and the Beast. Love is not about just falling in love, but also about really putting in the effort to care and be with that person. Thanks for commenting and reading πŸ™‚

  39. The hard work you put into love, indeed makes it a fairy tale…and while the road in the middle may get rocky occasionally…the endings are very much indeed happy ones. I remember thinking my husband was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen the first time I saw him, my hands were shaking when he asked me on a date. At dinner, I went to powder my nose and when I returned he stood and waited until I sat down. I knew right then I was going to marry that man. He still does that, even if it’s just the supper table.. two kids and many years later.

  40. Hmmm, let me see, first time to really see love… wow, that’s a hard one. Didn’t see it growing up, not real love anyway…hmmm, damn, why is this question so hard to answer. Maybe the best I can do is to say the “first” real and true love was shown by the man who stayed by my side after my car accident – my hubs… the one who stayed even when I had no idea who he was and wouldn’t let him in the bedroom for months (Until we had a second marriage ceremony) because I was not going to sleep in the same bed or room with a man I wasn’t married to. He stayed through my having to relearn even the basics of breathing, swallowing, talking, walking…all those things that everyone takes for granted. He stayed when I threw a fit and stomped out of the house with my walker to “runaway” only to realize I couldn’t go anywhere because I couldn’t remember how to open the car door…. Believe it or not, he drove me to my mothers and helped me inside. Now, if that ain’t love….

    • I cannot believe your story. This is exactly like the movie “The Vow”. You definitely found a man that will stay by your side through thick and thin. That is true love and I am so happy to hear you two are together. Thanks for sharing and please come back to refill your Cup of Joe soon.

  41. casinokoala says:

    Reblogged this on lost and learning and commented:
    So true

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