Gym Class Nightmare

Some of my least favorite moments going to elementary school are from gym glass. I didn’t mind escaping from the classroom and getting the blood pumping. The part I dreaded the most was getting picked for teams. Standing against the wall felt more like being chosen to see who will survive a zombie apocalypse than playing a game of dodgeball. I could handle waiting to be picked, but I hated being the captain that had to choose my team.

The real nerves kicked in way before the game when teams were being picked (credit: Wikipedia)

The real nerves kicked in way before the game when teams were being picked (credit: Wikipedia)

No matter what you do as the team leader, you will make a mistake. I always tried picking my friends first but I always considered everyone else’s feelings. I would hate to leave someone standing there and feeling like they weren’t wanted. One particular gym class, Β the two people left standing on that lonely wall were a couple of my close friends. No matter who I chose, I knew that the relationship with one of them would never be the same. And while I tried to show that I cared about both of them, my assumption was right. I hurt one of my friends that day and I learned what it meant to let someone down.

As I got older, decisions became tougher with more consequences. It wasn’t gym class anymore, it was real life. I was now faced with choosing who I would pick up in my car, the friends that could come over to hang out, and even what people I would share my feelings and opinions with. I always tried to consider everyone in my choices, but there were problems no matter what. One nasty phone call from a friend about not inviting him to a party that I had no control over really scarred me to avoid confrontations.

Before you login, you already know it will be an hour of boredom and seeing people you don't want to. (credit: CrunchBase)

Before you login, you already know it will be an hour of boredom and seeing people you don’t want to. (credit: CrunchBase)

After trying to do what I thought was best for everyone, I know find myself at the other end of the stick. My high school days are long past me, but the drama has seemed to carry over into the present. I try to reach out to my friends, and I rarely even get an answer back let alone them picking up when I am calling. I see pictures on Facebook with them all hanging out and having a good time, and I am left with an empty feeling wondering why I wasn’t invited. The fear of not being picked in gym class that I never worried about growing up has now become a reality.

I spent a few years really battling with these emotions and questions. Why was I the one left out? Is there something I did wrong? But I think the real issue was I never stood up for myself. I just tried to be accommodating to everyone else and this let me be a door mat for my friends. I didn’t get to do all the things I really wanted to because I was so afraid to let one of them down. Now they are the ones having fun together, and I am the one left at the door with all their tread marks and dirt.

In life, we need to realize that we should come first and make sure we are happy. I am not saying it isn’t important to care about others. Even after all that happened with my friend, I still wish them the best and would help them out if they needed it. But in the end, the only person we have to rely on in this life is ourselves. As we meet new people and go after goals, we are going to crack a few eggs along the way. Would you rather have a clean omelette or be stuck with egg shells in your dish?

(credit: Wikipedia)

(credit: Wikipedia)

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38 Responses to Gym Class Nightmare

  1. Deep! I agree with putting yourself first (although I don’t quite yet know how) but I think it’s also rewarding as you mentioned helping others too. I think it must be an acquired skill to do both… I’m working on it anyway! πŸ˜› πŸ™‚ Great post!

  2. So true! I really love all your posts. Good topics and great way of expressing your thoughts. I have recently been trying to figure out the last part of your post for myself…choosing to do what I have to do for my happiness. Sometimes I feel selfish if I do that, like I’m self-centered and not giving anyone else’s thoughts of feelings enough consideration. But recently especially, I’ve been facing a situation where I really need to put me, my health and happiness first and foremost. It’s hard, but it’s essential!

  3. Eliot Benvie says:

    It’s definitely hard to try to strike the perfect balance between being accommodating to others as well as yourself. I guess everyone has to start somewhere, and from there, we can try and get the equilibrium right. I hope that you are getting closer!

  4. I know what you mean! I used to experience the same feelings when I was younger and it has seeped through my adult years. Sometimes I wonder why I wasn’t invited to certain things either (at work and through friends, etc) but then I just remind myself not to take it too personally. Sometimes I invite only a certain group of people to do certain things too for a variety of reasons, not because I don’t like certain people. You just gotta brush it off your shoulders!

    • That’s the same exact attitude I have. I just don’t let it bother me and keep moving forward with my life. It’s not our fault, and it’s out of our control so we shouldn’t stress over it. I’m glad you enjoyed the read πŸ™‚

      • I’m glad someone else if feeling the same way I do! It’s always so easy to assume that no one else is going through what you are, but in reality, it’s more than you think!

      • I always used to think I was weird for how I felt. But then I realized if I think this way, there are probably a lot of others that feel the same way πŸ™‚ We are never alone, even when we feel like it the most in our lives.

  5. It took me many years and painful situations to learn this lesson but its so true … and a necessary one to learn.

  6. Heather says:

    you are so right…we have to make sure we are happy…others come second! With the exception of our families of course. I’m a bit of a loner, always have been, even as a child, so making sure I was happy wasn’t difficult nor does it make me feel selfish…life is short, I do what works for me!

    • That’s great to hear you found the perfect balance between family and yourself. I am a bit of a loner as well, so I can relate. Thanks for reading and commenting πŸ™‚

  7. Yarned Together says:

    It took me a few decades to learn, but once I made the decision to make “me” happy first, then the friends thing really fell into place for me. My husband just recently got out of the Navy, so keeping friends has been a rough go because of moving so much. Once we decided to do things that made us both happy, that’s when our truest friends showed themselves. We met a lot of great people all over the U.S.

    Very well written & thank you for the opportunity to read! πŸ˜€

    • I really think that if we find happiness in ourselves, we will be able to find happiness with others that truly care about us. I’m glad to hear you and your husband are doing so well. Thanks for reading and commenting πŸ™‚

  8. Thank-you… I wish team picking was different too (maybe the teachers should have done the one two one two). I remember this clearly, the pressure, the let down, the feeling sorry, and the after the game. I always felt bad for the last two kids left. More then the line-ups that bothered me was the athletic testing with Excellence, gold, silver.. I always felt bad for the kids whom where over weight or gangly.. if the testing was on wrestling or football or any other more body suited athletic activity, they would have done great and not on how many sit-ups in 30 secs or how far the standing long jump was. Lets test the monkey, dog, fish, and elephant and see which one climbs the tree the fastest and them reward them with Excellence. Not really setting children up with great self esteem for the future. It marks us at an intricate age (puberty) when so many things are imprinting and changing in our bodies and leaves us later on in life questioning why. If I(we) tell you now in a time passed you weren’t alone, does it help? I’m glad that an easy answer lies in ourselves. Thank-you for your insightful post and leading me here.

    • I think gym is always tough on kids and sometimes isn’t the best self esteem boost. But I think most kids no matter how they look feel this way. Thanks for commenting and I’m glad you enjoyed your Cup of Joe so much πŸ™‚

  9. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Switcheroo | suzie81's Blog

  10. Lessie-Lou says:

    Holy Geez. That was incredibly thought-provoking. You have a really great writing style, consider me a follower. πŸ™‚

  11. sarcasticallywitty says:

    Great post! In life, I also spent years asking myself the same questions. Why friends wouldn’t choose me or called me and forgot about me when having fun or just getting together. It hurt, it wasn’t fair. Thinking more about others let us forget about ourselves. About what we want to do and that makes us unforgettable. In the end, we have to realize, that they weren’t real friends. We just existed for them because they needed something from us. In the end, when we are happy with ourselves and happy standing up for what we really want and need is when we can find friends that really appreciates us. Thanks for a great post.

    • I spent a few years really fighting with the issue of begin left out and not accepted. But I realized that it isn’t my fault, it is something that is out of my control I am happier than with myself and with other people in my life. Thanks for reading and hope you come back to refill your Cup of Joe soon πŸ™‚

  12. aarondbell says:

    A cup of joe has always been my favorite drink lol. As dirty as that sounds, I’m serious when I say that your style of writing (as well as the things you write about) is incredibly awesome.

    Thanks Joe πŸ™‚

    (P.S. I found you through Suzie81’s blog. If you moderate comments, you can delete this P.S., becuase I just thought you might like to know.)

    • I’m glad you found me and I’m really happy Suzie put my blog out there for others to discover. I really appreciate your kind words and happy you enjoyed your Cup of Joe πŸ™‚

  13. Chatty Owl says:

    That brought up memories for me from school too! I used to hate picking friends, so the minute I realised that it’s a tough thing to do (a bit like choosing between mum and dad, “who do you love more?”), I stopped considering what others expect of me. I know it sounds cold, its not all I mean. Well, maybe I am a little too cold. But its difficult to please everybody (impossible in some cases), so I stopped doing that. There is a difference between consideration and being fair, so i try to stay within those lines.

    • It’s always a thin line between being fair and taking everyone’s needs into consideration. We should care about others, but no matter what we do someone will feel let down. I still try to do the best I can with considering others, but we have to make sure we are also happy with our decisions in the end. Thanks for stopping by and commenting πŸ™‚

  14. xdanigirl says:

    This was amazing!! I loved it and I totally understand what you are talking about. Having two small children, I get left out of a lot of things. One of my friends also has a baby, but her parents are much more willing to babysit for her than my parents are for me. Because of this I avoid Facebook like the plague!! That and I don’t care to know what’s going on with most of the people I went to high school with. It just hurts seeing them go out and do all kinds of things and I’m stuck at home. It’s no fun.

    • It’s hard to see friends we used to be close with still hang out and not include us. But it isn’t our fault, it is just the way it is sometimes. This is why I rarely even go on Facebook anymore. Thanks for reading and commenting πŸ™‚

  15. This post really hit home for me! I have tended to play it safe when it comes to risking my feelings for fear of getting hurt. But at what cost?

    • We should always care about others, but we need to make sure we are happy with our decisions as well. At some points in our life, we will be the only one that we can rely on. And any decision we are bound to make is going to hurt at least one persons’ feelings. Thanks for reading and I’m glad you enjoyed your Cup of Joe πŸ™‚

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