Since I’ve been working, I noticed something that I don’t typically see. These two guys always show up to the store for lunch and pay for each other’s meal. It’s hard enough to get a loved one to buy you a whole, entire meal but these guys were selfless enough to buy their own meal and the friend’s lunch every other day. And it wasn’t as if the one who was treating had a look of misery and dread painted on his face. They both were always laughing and smiling either way. While this kind gesture struck a nerve for me, it made me think about my friendships.
I have read countless blogs about how great some friends are and the polar opposite with friendships being train wrecks. I have seen both kinds of these relationships, but I look at it in a different perspective. Friendships are like revolving doors. Remember as a kid when you would see one of those huge, glass doors swinging around and around. You hesitated at first, but then you found your spot and jumped right in. You would push the handles as fast as you can without a care in the world. This is exactly how friendships start.
At first, you meet your potential friend and check them out for a first time. You might lean into the relationship, but then quickly pull back at the slightest threat of danger. After you get a good footing, you jump right in and spin carelessly around in fun and excitement. Unfortunately, the result is always the same for these experiences.
You either push too hard until you get sick or a more mature, adult voice will tell you to quit it. Sometimes, we go after friendships too furiously. We put all our energy into it and push too hard. Eventually, we will get sick and tired of it and look for the exit. Other times, our mature conscience will tell us that we had our fun but it is time to stop playing around and move on. It is normal for people to go their separate ways. Who wants to be that kid being screamed at by a hundred adults to stop spinning the door so others could get through.
My advice is to wait until everything is calm and ready. You don’t want to jump into something moving too fast or else you will find yourself caught in an uncomfortable position. Once you are totally ready, you slowly go on through and enjoy the fun. Don’t go too fast or too slow, but instead at your own pace. This way you will not get tired of it and really cherish the experience. As a person who has seen too many friends just peek into the revolving door and exit quickly, I really know that it is special to have a person that truly cares about you. I am not sure I can say I have any of those type of friendships right now, but next time I get the chance I will remember to not get stuck in between the swinging glass and jump in when I’m ready.