After a long day of of ups and downs; there was nothing more I wanted to do then curl up in bed and pass out. I pulled the soft sheets over myself as I lay my head on the pillow. I closed my eyes with hopes of dazing off and maybe even having a dream. After a few minutes of random thoughts and reflections I realized I was….still awake.
This has been a constant struggle for me since I was little. I could never just lay in bed and automatically sleep. I was always that kid who tried keeping everyone up during the sleepovers. My friends could have chugged a bottle of Mountain Dew and snorted lines of Pixie Sticks, and they would pass out before midnight. Meanwhile, I was left to occupy myself with the television muted or silent, shadow-puppet shows.
I think the Sandman cursed me at some point in my life. Maybe I ticked off one of his friends like the Tooth Fairy and this is his way of getting even, torturing me with sleepless nights and days riddled with fatigue. Either way, we are not on speaking terms at this point.
So as I lay wide awake last night with about two hours before work, I realized something. The Sandman might have deprived me of restful nights, but I am the one to get the last laugh. Some of my most productive moments have been cause of no sleep. I was able to study and cram before exams because I had a whole night to read over the material. One night could accumulate to more than a week of review. I watched some of the greatest television shows and movies from the 80’s and 90’s that are only on late night televisions. And I was even able to beat some of my favorite Nitendo 64 Games.
Go ahead, you can take away my sleep but you can’t take my freedom. I’ll pass out calmly when I am sixty and ready to retire. For now, I am too young to be dozing my days away. I am going to stay awake and be productive until I reach all my goals. Maybe its good I’m an insomniac, because I have more hours to put into what I want to get out of this life. I hope one day the little kid in me who was watching Full House muted at sleepovers not even knowing what they were saying will appreciate my attitude.