I’m going away this weekend from blogging for a bit. I will be back and hopefully feel refreshed and renewed. I hope anyone that reads this will understand and come back to read more once I write again.
Sorry for the late post. Today was a very long day and the week isn’t even over. I had to get a lot of errands done and ran around all over the place. Tomorrow, I will be forced to do this all over again. I will make this very short and sweet and I hope everyone understands. We sometimes have to do things we don’t want to in life. It is inevitable that the things we enjoy the most will sometimes require doing stuff we don’t particularly enjoy. We just have to remember that it will be worth it in the end. Nothing is worth going after if it comes easy.
Before I graduated high school, I had an awesome teacher that I really looked up to. He was this young guy that was really laid back with a few tattoos covering his arm. I always looked forward going to his class because he not only taught us the subject but also lessons we would run into in life. On the last day of class, he said something that really hit home. He told us we are now going into the real world, and somedays are going to hit us harder than we have ever been knocked down. If we can’t snap out the funk, jus remember we can always get lost in a good movie instead of doing something stupid.
Instead of pigging out on some Ben and Jerry’s ice cream or going to a bar, I decided I would finally go see The Hangover Part III. As the lights dimmed and the preview started rolling, I realized I was the only person in the whole theatre. At first I thought it was pretty cool, how many people can say they had a private viewing for a movie. Then, a million scenarios ran through my head and I decided it was a little more scary than I planned.
As I enjoyed the end of a great franchise, I looked around and the fear of a crazy axe murder chasing me through the aisles changed into a deeper feeling. All of these seats were organized around me, but they were all empty. No one’s phone as vibrating, someone wasn’t coughing, and no crunching noise from a guy obnoxiously eating popcorn. The only thing that was telling me I was conscious and not dreaming was the light from the big screen.
In this big world filled with billions of people, we won’t even be able to connect with one percent of them in our lifetime. And most of the people we will meet, we most likely will forget about later on in our life. One of the reasons why I enjoy writing so much is because I get to connect with people from all over that I wouldn’t be able to. One question popped into my mind as I finished the film. Even if this theatre was packed, are we all alone in this world with a single light of life only connecting us?
This week has been a pretty rough one to say the least. It feels like I take on giant step forward on my journey ,only to be dragged by four more steps. I can see the light, and for a brief period of time I have absolute clarity. Then, I am sucked into a tornado of all these thoughts and doubts. I just want to scream at the top my lungs and break free from theses shackles holding me into the ground, but their grip is too tight and no one can hear me.
After high school, it has really been a period of finding out who I am. I read an article this week, and it really resonated with me. If we look back two years from where we are now, we probably won’t even recognize the person we were. Most of us think we would have made a transition forward to bigger and better things, but I look back at someone I want to be.
I was a kid with so much hope and opportunity growing up. I could have become anything I wanted to. I took things for granted and never was serious about opportunities. I wish I could combine my knowledge and determination with my former self’s hope and confidence.
So feeling drained and exhausted, I will just leave my reader’s with this post for the day. The one thing that has given me inspiration in the last twenty-four hours is Oprah’s commencement speech at Harvard. Even with all her success, she still can hit rock bottom in her career. And one message that carried her through rough times was “This Shall Pass To”. I have been battling these demons for a good four years now, but it shall pass too. And anything you feel is overwhelming and just too much to deal with, remember it will pass as well and there will be light at the end of this tunnel.
Last night, I probably saw on of the best films of the summer and possibly the year. If you’re not a fan of action or fast cars, then you probably didn’t rush to the theatre to see the new Fast and Furious movie. Not only did it have me on the edge of my seat with all my dream rides whizzing by on the big screen, but the dialogue was hilarious and superb. At the end of the movie, I felt ready to race the first person that pulled up next to me at a red light. However, I think there was a bigger message tied into this franchise that I never realized before.
To the average person, they just think of Vin Diesel acting like a L.A. thug and The Rock screaming and grunting as he flexes his muscles. But from the viewpoint of someone that has seen all of the movies in the series, I realized the big message tying everything together was family.
No matter what ridiculous situation they were in or how tall the odds were stacked against them, nothing was going to separate this family of street racers. Each one of them were willing to sacrifice their own life, if it meant saving a person they cared about. From the first time Paul Walker turned himself in so Vin could escape the cops to the most recent film, this unspoken bond they all shared was unbreakable. And the crazy part of it all is that this family was thicker than most circles of people that are actually related to each other.
So as I drove back home holding my girlfriend’s hand, I found a new appreciation for all the people that are in my life today. Family doesn’t’ have to just be the ones we have blood ties to. I am truly blessed to have a wonderful mother that cares about me, but our families can extend to the anyone that will always be there for us. If you really think about it, our relationships don’t even have to be a human. Some of man’s best friends are a dog, cat, pet, or even a blue alien called Stitch that was taught the meaning of family by a little Hawaiian girl named Lilo . In the end, there will be a few friends and family members that came and go in our life without warning. It just means we should even be more thankful for even that one person we can say will ride and die by our side.
He opens the door for you as you you casually get out of the car with a smile stretching from ear to ear. You anxiously walk to the front of your house as romantic glances and smirks are exchanged. The warm, night air wraps the two of you together as a fantastic time of small talk, laughs, and feelings comes to an end. The jingling from getting the keys out of your purse is the last sound you hear before everything goes silent. You look into your dates’ eyes, and the moment has finally come.
As he places his hand smoothly on the small of your back, you close your eyes and your lips softly touch. You break away from the kiss, and suddenly that cloud you were floating on pops and you are grounded back on earth. The attraction that has been building up throughout the date has now been shut down quicker than it was sparked. You finish with an awkward goodbye, but there is no chance of redemption after a bad, first kiss.
A perfect date with instant chemistry can be destroyed in the matter of seconds by a horrible kiss. I have seen in it magazines, books, movies and even from friends that they will not see a person again if they don’t feel the spark with that first, warm embrace. Why is the fate of a relationship sealed in the tiniest interaction of a date?
Even though we see ourselves as the most evolved species on the planet, our true animal instincts lie in the core of our human interactions. We may like to think that we are not shallow, but the first reason why we become interested in someone is based on physical attraction. When we meet someone for the first time, we see them before anything else happens. Our eyes process them so quickly that we already decide if this person is attractive before they even talk. This animal instinct may be the reason why our first true physical interaction such as a kiss can make or break our feelings toward someone.
If this is the case, then why is it that I can’t remember my first kiss. I have a really good memory too, but I can’t recall the first girl I locked lips with. I can’t remember if it was bad or good or just awkward. Now that I think about it, I can barely remember half of the first kisses I’ve had with other girls. Does this mean I’m the missing link or lost a gene from the evolution pool?
I do think physical attraction and interaction with a partner is really important. It plays a big role in our relationships. But the things I remember most don’t revolve around only the first kiss, it’s more about the first time we shared our feelings together. It’s how I learn something new about you and it makes me fall in love with you even more. The moment when we experienced something for the first time together and we became even closer. In the end, we will all remember our first kiss and how beautiful that other person was in that moment. But what will last the test of time isn’t physical interaction or beauty, it will be the ability to share our feelings and always being able to open up to each other.
With summer pretty much here, it’s that time of year when everyone calls in their landscapers to mow the lawn and spruce everything up around the house. One neighbor had the whole street blocked off with every contractor, roofer, and chimney sweep in the area working on their property. I guess they really want their home to stand out with all the block parties and barbecues coming in the next few months. As I was getting in my car before I started the day, I stood outside and really looked at my house. This is the same place I have been living in for the past eighteen years, and it felt like I this was the first time I ever saw it before.
It was strange to think that I spent so much time inside my house, that I never really gave it a good look on the outside. I am either running out the door in a rush to make it to work or dragging my exhausted body up the stairs to pass out for the day. I’m going in and out so much, I never just take a second to see what everything looks like. As the sun was beating down on my body and beads of sweat started forming on my forehead, I realized this wasn’t just my home, but a reflection of who I am as a person.
The past eighteen years have been one roller coaster ride. I had some of my happiest moments and some of my scariest moments in my small room. I’ve had girlfriends over and I’ve had some friends that I no longer talk to step through my front door. I lost my first tooth that the tooth fairy still owes me money for and I went through puberty all in one place. I experienced all these things in this house, but I didn’t realize what had happened until I looked at myself from the outside.
The beginning of this year was a really rough point in my life. Not enrolled in school and broke, I was at a very low point. I was just going through the motions of the day, but I wasn’t really doing anything. It wasn’t until I went on Facebook that I noticed how lost I really was. We all grow up and build foundations for what we want our lives to be like. Everyone is pretty much equal and continues building support through junior high and high school until they are independent enough to expand on what they want. As I was still sitting on my foundation, I saw all my friends who built these wonderful structures of life with memories and accomplishments. It really made me take a step back, but I’m glad it knocked me down so hard.
As I was laying on my back speechless, it was the exact thing I needed. Being at rock bottom, I got a good view of my where I was at. This point on my journey was exactly like staring at my house. I saw things the for the first time that I never realized before. I had a lot of things to work on, but I still had a sturdy foundation to build on. The paint may be chipping and a few shingles may be hanging by an edge, but I could make a house I could be proud of. The only way I could make this happen is if I put in the hard work and dedication.
I may not be ready for summer barbecues and pool parties, but I am making the right steps in order to be where I want in my life. Our life is like a house, we sometimes get so lost on living inside it that we don’t take care of the things we don’t see on a regular basis. Everyone should take a second and just look at themselves from an outside perspective, I guarantee you will see something new you have never noticed before.